Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

by Chandroo D.

 

During my recent trip overseas, I happened to be in a Steam Sauna at a Spa Hotel.  Coincidently, I met up with a close classmate of mine after many years.  It was nice to wander down memory lane with him and reminisce about our past school days. We finally met up at the hotel bar in the evening to continue our conversations.

 

He seems to be depressed after one drink and looked like he needed a shoulder to cry on.

 

Me: What’s up mate? Why so depressed and where is your soul mate?

 

Depressed: For all I know, my soul mate is back in the room cleaning up.

 

Me: You kidding? Isn’t that the job for the room housekeeper?

 

Depressed: Yes I know.. but unfortunately she has OCD.

 

Me: What the blazes is OCD?

 

Depressed: Obsessive compulsive disorder. She never trusts anyone cleaning up.  She has to assure herself by deep cleaning everything around her.  She also washes her hands with antibacterial soap and hot water constantly.  For all I know she is presumably free from any germs and bacteria. Therefore, if ever she is near a bush or a tree, she immediately gets a rash and I have to reach behind her blouse and scratch her back in public to calm her down. People around us think I am acting fresh with her shamelessly and hopefully no one bashes me up one day!

 

Me: What a bummer!  Remember the days we used to play football in the rain, slipping and falling flat onto the wet muddy field?  Our bodies and faces were always covered with mud or dust. This actually helped us to gear up our immunity system in our bodies for any imminent onslaught of bacterias and diseases.  Guess our ladies did not go through this as they were usually pampered with tender loving care.

 

Depressed: Whats more, these days besides being concious of being squeaky clean, she is also totally obsessed about organic healthy food. Every type of dish at home or a choice at a restaurant has to be organic and gluten free.  If I try to shun away from her type of food, she chides and claims that I am not being fair and I should  be joining her towards  her goal to stay healthy. Her goal?  Shucks, what about my goal to enjoy great normal food that I have eaten since childhood days and now being deprived of? Doesn’t she realize that she’s not being fair? Oh man.. look at my waist.  Haven’t I lost weight? Soon I will be close to looking like a skeleton. I hardly eat now a days and miss all the good normal food fit for a macho man.  Without my power meals to keep me fit who will carry her suitcases and lift heavy equipments around the house?

 

Me: I feel sorry for you, my friend. Relax and calm down. You see that beautiful smiling young one across the bar? 

 

Depressed: Yes, saw her when we walked in.  What about her?

 

Me: All you have to do is simply leave your OCD, obsessive organic wife and sweep the pretty young one off her feet.  Your problem will be solved.

 

Depressed: I wish I can do that, you devil! Think what will happen to the next guy my wife dates or marries. Unless his character and behaviour is on the same channel like hers, he will be doomed like me.  Poor fellow!  Besides that, which pretty woman will ever look at a depressed guy like me… unless she sees a  $ sign on my forehead.

 

Me: So you are now trying to be a ‘good Samaritan’ and saving an unknown character from her obsessions?  Why don’t you say that her obsession has gradually rubbed on you too and you are starting to behave like her.

 

Depressed: (cleaning his hand with a wet one): I probably am.  I am hungry. Shall we order Edamame or a green salad to accompany our drinks?

 

Me: Son of a gun! I was thinking of Satays. Seriously, you have been possessed by her actions and they have definitely rubbed on you.  You are acting like a cow wanting to munch on greens.  You live once only my friend, so let’s go out for a great wine and steak dinner and live a life. 

 

"Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself". Lois McMaster Bujold