Single again!
By Heeru D.

Oh, how foolishly do women spend their time dreaming about a romantic life and thinking how they would live happily ever after with the man of their dreams – A husband.  I remember thinking, how beautiful life would be doing things together with a spouse. Such thoughts now, only sends shivers down my spine.  Married life, hits you hard right away, compromises, compromises and only compromises – where did those dreams fade away……. (They were dreams after all, not reality)

Then, one fine day you find yourself single again.  Gosh, how am I going to cope! We’ve been together for so long, (actually it’s not been so long) doing things and partying together, now it’s all gone and lost.

But hooray Girl!  You are single again. It’s a perfect time to do what you best desire and do it at your own pace and time, and not wait for retirement. The first most beautiful thing is – you stop nagging. You had spent your mornings and nights nagging at your spouse of his horrible habits that you couldn’t stand. Now, I can blissfully spend my energies looking good, feeling good, watching movies and doing the things that I want to. There is extra time, to color hair of one’s own choice, cooking and eating healthy  – instead of saying: Honey, what do want to eat, what time will you be back, when can we do this and what time should we do that.. All that disappears – what a relief!  It is simply fabulous?

I can party with my friends and not HIS. I also realized that every one hangs out with you and no one condemns you so that’s great. I guess that never happened in my parents’ generation. You begin to accept your new identity and alter yourself with a new attitude.  Girls, envy you because you turn more vibrant open minded because of your newly established freedom and choice. Guys notice you and begin to help you around, when husbands never gave that little extra attention.

You begin to look at life with a new perspective and begin to think – being single can be great voila!  Life is beautiful. Work becomes enjoyable and you’re not wasting time thinking about your incompatible husband and whining about him. Lots of time saved and your brain actually begins to think productively and happily. You begin to become wiser; situations make you learn new things.

The best part of being single is that now you can plan your dream holidays on your children’s summer break and not wait for the spouse to change or cancel your plans. Dreams now begin to take shape and the bounce reappears. Children begin to address their father as ex-father just like the way I had begun to say ex-husband. I found my children boasting that they had 2 houses instead of one. At school, parents and teachers are super supportive and children enjoy the extra leeway.  I love being single, you get an extra of everything.

Friends and family begin to invite you more than usual and you get tagged along with lots of events, because now you are available without that “show off or boring” of a husband. Only remember to be cheerful, sulkiness only destroys those fun opportunities. Children love these gatherings and they don’t care whether there is one parent or not, so long as their needs are being met and having fun. I love kids – they are the best support system, practical and wise.  Thank goodness! Three Cheers to all the children of the world!

Check this out - ask any woman in a household, who is the one person they can’t do without? And guess what you’ll hear - oh! I can’t do without my cook, oh if my driver doesn’t come in I am so helpless and finally I could never do without a maid.”  No one mentions the husband.

My housekeeper’s support is simply irreplaceable. She is worth the investment.  She does what she is told and loves the kids unconditionally at all times.  Spouses are never there at the time you need them the most.  I can bet you all those married wives would agree with me a 100%.

I remember my mother asking me “What about your safety and the lonely nights?” “Hey mom!,”  was my reply “ that’s the job of my night latch and the watchman and my nights aren’t lonely with  “MySpace, Skype, Twitter, FaceBook and all those chat servers in the world wide web ready to keep me hooked, booked and occupied.”

Oh! How I love walking into my dry bathroom, with my fragrance and my very own space. I can read with the lights on, have my favorite color spreads on my bed and finally the morning papers come to me without compromising on the rejects that I once got. The electricians, and the plumbers and even the bankers all begin to see me as the BOSS and not that second fiddle. There is more respect since I am the one who holds the purse strings – Feeling of power reigns once again.


Being single makes you only smart and nothing else. Look around you at all those single divorcees and widows, they may not be all sexy but they definitely are wise, practical and smart.  Isn’t there a saying “behind every successful man there is a woman” - well the ex-husband just lost out a great opportunity!!

 

"Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself". Lois McMaster Bujold